to begin again and again = showing up

to be humbled by the fear of having to start over. as if the maintaining is the prize. the repeated practice. tending the creative void. the practice is the vessel that the creative magic is drawn to because we all know that magic loves a void!!!

my life has changed drastically and not at all.

my wife retired, i shut down my coaching practice, we sold our house and moved to my childhood home in the middle of the southern vermont forest.

writing is one of the ways that i have been able to ground myself in this process of moving home. writing is always the thing i have time for and crave as a way to process what is happening around me. most of it is an exercise in taking the clutter from my brain.

occasionally i learn something about myself. something interesting that stops me in my tracks and floats through the rest of my wake hours. fretting my imagination as i cook dinner, or troubling my focus as i practice asana.

since i have left my coaching practice i feel more free to express my creative experiences. {i haven’t completely unpacked this strange permission granting thing that happened but hey} this process of showing up, of creating a ritual practice is what i am the most interested in. i want to share the process here and hope it leads me to what is the next step in my own evolution.

to begin again and again. to be the beaver rebuilding her dam, the caterpillar within their cocoon.

i am in constant awe of the minute world around me: the lichen, the mushrooms, the red efts, the dew drops on blades of grass all catch my attention and take hold of my imagination. writing after my imagination has been lit by a walk, or quiet sit on a rock allows me to recognize myself amidst change, recognizing the change as part of who i am. not as an experience that takes me away from myself. and from a more practical perspective a life built around being outside, tending the natural world seems to be tantamount.

i am cataloguing these moments of self aware insights so i may realize a life from this transition that brings me great joy and creative abundance.