love in the face of difference.

oof. it’s been a bit of a roller coaster of my own making the past two weeks. well sort of my own making. we went on vacation and while we were in CA shelley’s father passed away. he was in hospice, so it was not a surprise but none the less it kicked into gear an entire plan and set of travel circumstance that has left us exhausted. and its not over! we had planned last year, to go skiing with shelley’s family in utah next week.

my family is holding down the fort at home. taking care of our four leggeds, making sure the frozen pipes don’t burst in the coldest weather the northeast has experienced in decades. collecting our mail and watering plants.

family. we are blessed with both blood and chosen family that holds us, grounds us and reminds us of what it is we need. i always appreciate a text from a friend reminding me that such and such will make it easier, or providing a laugh when sadness seems to be the only emotion i know.

this past weekend as shelley’s family gathered in remembrance of shelley’s father i was overwhelmed by the love and gratitude i felt for my in laws and the enormous extended family i am honored to be a part of, despite differences in understanding of how the universe functions, and how we live our lives there was a undercurrent of care, love and gratitude for one another. while there might not always be room for our politics in the same room, it is possible to love those who disagree about fundamentals of existence. if we lean into the love then the fear and difference isn’t such a big deal, we are human after all and i believe that our inherent nature is to find common ground with one another, even in the face of todays media culture that tells us we are so deeply divided that there is no way across, love is the way across that divide.

practicing love in the face of difference is hard, exhausting and deeply rewarding. it is not about sacrificing ourselves, it is about creating boundaries, communicating them clearly, letting others opinions become obsolete in the face of saving your energy.

we may not agree with what it is that others are doing, believe, or preach, but we can find ways to share and express love with them in spite of it. that is our way forward. in grief, in politics, in climate change, in our families chosen and blood.

don’t get me wrong, i love to argue my political beliefs, and i am more relaxed in a group of people who understand fundamental human rights the same way i do, but it is possible to find bridges through others difference, and it is satisfying and heart warming to know that folx who may not agree with me being gay can give me a hug and invite me into their home because they enjoyed a conversation i had with them about vegetable gardening.

it is in this way that i hope to be a beacon of example. that living in my heart, rather than my brain leads us to connection.