january as an experiment in creating my own rhythms

hello hello from the cozy chair in the room we use as a dining room and a living room and call a library. living in this old farmhouse has us conserving heating resources and gathering hearth side. we are so grateful for our functioning fire places. our winter strategy is to relish the energy of a snow day; dogs snoring on our feet, books and empty tea cups stacking up on side tables. we go play outside then pour more tea and hang wet coats and hats to dry.

i am focusing on how the construct of my day reveals my priorities. setting myself up for some long term (i turn 50 in four years) goals. the rhythm of building slowly one day at a time till habit is formed feels appropriate and within my reach as the sun begins its slow ascent to the summer solstice.

i applied to grad school last year and i did not get in. i was pretty heartbroken. the bruise is still tender, and yet i know that when the universe closes one door it opens another and i am realizing as i am intentional in how i spend my time to support my future self, that i was not ready for grad school in that iteration, that i have more work to do here where i am in my life before i give my energy to creating for others.

i have more to accomplish closer to home, a body to tend and heal, and by focusing on and reorienting myself i will find what it is i am meant to create for others.

that being said, i am trying to do something relatively hard for me. i’ve committed to working out for 45 minutes 2x a day. one workout happens early in the morning in an unheated room: my goal to generate enough heat that i am sweating at the end and then i go for a 3 mile dog walk in the afternoon before i cook dinner. this practice is new. i committed to 75 days. then i will reassess and see how it feels. is it serving me? do i feel stronger? is the format functional in my life?

i hope to write more about this process here, as i am focused on the process of this commitment. the mundane aspect of doing the same thing every single day, of relying on myself to fulfill my promise to myself.

wish me luck.