Keep loving. Keep fighting.
Our romantic heart can be extremely confusing to navigate. Relationships are complicated, sharing ourselves with others requires us to be vulnerable and brave at the same time. There are troves written about the work we can do to feel sexy, loved and tended to. I find that often there is a lot of should involved in all that writing. I am not a fan of coming to situations of the heart with the word should any where near me.
I find that what I need to feel sexy is confidence, a sense of purpose, support and a damn good pair of jeans. So the jeans are kind of a joke. I mean its always fab when you feel great in your skin, your jeans, your tshirt, whatever puts that bounce in your step, the roll in your hips. I feel sexy when I use my brain. I am telling you all this because I think it is really important to talk with each other about the relationships that sustain and define us.
I am a fat queer cis-woman. My body has been the topic of conversations of strangers within my earshot. My sexuality has become a political battleground, and my healthcare is at risk. All of these realities inform how I come to my loving relationship. They inform how I get to share my love with my partner, in public and private spaces.
I am madly in love. I get to laugh everyday with the woman I love. There are places where I cannot share this with others because love is resented and happiness is taboo. There are other spaces where we are celebrated and witnessed.
Opening dialogues with trust affords us the opportunity to share what works and what doesn't. These conversations have the possibility of normalizing our experiences for others to see. Talking with neighbors and friends, communities and allies opens opportunities for us to understand that love is hard and scary and messy and that we have our own worlds and realities and they are different than others experiences but they are more similar than we think.
Our hearts are universal. They pump blood, life through our bodies. They crumble when we are shuttered, they thrive when we are supported and seen. So lets start talking, sharing, listening to what our hearts are capable of. So that we may learn from each other.