You know I am a huge proponent of love. I start all of my work with loving yourself first and foremost. I love love, capital letter love, big gushy love, falling in love, falling out of love, friendship love, and the sparkle in your heart love. I believe love is the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and each other. Love has been my greatest teacher and my worst nightmare, love has brought me to my knees in pain and taught me the joy of auntie hood. Loving an addict is hard, gruesome and teaches me more and more everyday as I age. Loving my family seems impossible and satisfying at the same time.
Love does not look a certain way, have anything to do with diamond rings, and should be celebrated everyday.
I have always held that relationships ended are not a waste or love lost but rather lessons for our hearts and love to grow from. A new foundation of understanding if you will. Have you heard that saying about a broken heart only has more room to open?
Lately I have been doing a lot of personal writing, writing as healing. This week something that came up in my writing that I wanted to share was a new way of understanding the love I experience with my partner in reference to the love I chased in my early 20’s. Without details I will share that I had a lot of relationships in my 20’s and 30’s that were as much about love as they were about feeding snails to Donald Trump. (If you need reference the only fantasy I ahve about feeding Trump anything pays homage to the movie 9 to 5.) So… I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years. This is my longest relationship by far. For the longest time I thought that my failure at relationships had something to do with my failure at being human. There must be something wrong with me. NOPE!!! I am enough, you are too!
My relationship is hard work, living with someone and being their support takes time and energy, effort and compromise. And it is because of all this that it lasts. I had a different blog post written for today. But this seemed more important. Love.
Sometimes we have to start small, with our new haircut, our favorite jeans, or the cookie that just tastes so damn good, (gluten free oreo wannabes). We have to work our way up to our big belly, or lumpy ass. Or maybe love doesnt’ feel like it’s possible because you survived abuse at the hands of a loved. But remember this, no matter your life, no matter your politics, no matter your skin, ability, choices, you are worthy of love because you exist.
Love is to be celebrated everyday. I argue that if we truly honor and celebrate love in all ways always, our lives and the life of our planet could be more.
So if you want to participate in this “holiday” in all its Hallmark glory by all means love someone up, especially if that someone is yourself. Self is a great place to start. Because you are worthy of love because you exist.