The radical resolution challenge is over. I really enjoyed the consistency of daily devoted thought about how I want to show up in the world. Did you? By the end of 2017 I was craving routine and rhythm so it felt really good to take the space of the daily challenge to understand those cravings and brainstorm how I could develop daily strategy for what I need. I mentioned in a few previous posts the calling I had through this month to hold my intention close to my chest, as if to tend to its spark and insure its sustainability. Here I am at the end of January feeling confident with the business strategy I have in place, but more importantly I have created a schedule that has my self care priorities built right in. Which has stood me in good stead these past few weeks as my boundaries have been tested and my frustrations exhausted.
If you are interested in more musings about the #radicalresolution challenge and what shape it will be taking from here on you can leave your name and email here and I will put you on the list. Think access to accountability, some worksheets and prompts.
Today is the blue moon lunar eclipse. It seems fitting that the #radicalresolution challenge would end on such an auspicious day. I sat outside on my back steps this morning in the dark, with a cup of tea and some of my amethyst crystals at my feet. By all accounts these last few weeks have tested me. So I am working on being gentle with myself, not attaching myself to any one outcome. Recognizing what I can let go of, where I have capacity and where I feel tight. Ya know tapping into my intuition and letting that voice guide me. Because we all know the best laid plans go right out the window sometimes and that shit hurts and feels awkward and then someone ignores you and before you know it your eating an entire box of cookies while watching bbc crime drama. So I sat outside in the dark. Breathed in the cold air and the quiet of my neighborhood waking up. Let myself bask in the cloudy aura of the eclipse I couldn’t see and just sat with all the parts of me that don’t follow that awesome weekly schedule I worked so hard on. All the parts of me that still think I need to shrink to be me. I sat with the part of me that doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning and go for a walk. I sat with the part of me that wants to lose weight so I can fit into a cute skirt I saw online. I gave them all a little bit of my attention so that I feel out how and where they are still attached to me.
I talk alot about listening to our inner voice, honoring our truth, knowing what we know, feeling at home in our bodies. Part of the work is looking at the shit that feels wack. Acknowledging the parts that hurt, or we regret, the parts we don’t want anyone else to know about. We don’t have to wallow in them, but we do need to know them, understand them, see them, say hello, ask them why they are present, what they need in order to move on. It isn’t always love and rainbows it’s more often tears and anger and forgiveness. Remember to save some forgiveness for ourselves, remember to be gentle with ourselves so we may show up even when it’s really hard and resentment feels easier.