In fact I am fucking exhausted. I am tired of health looking a certain way. I am tired of skinny white girls in yoga pants. I don't want to see your smoothie bowl. In fact keep your pictures of chia seeds to yourself. That may all work for other people but it is not my experience. I like to add butter to the pan before I start cooking.
I am fat. I don't apologize for the space I take up. I don't want to lose weight. I want to love myself. I want to go to the doctor and not have the first thing they do is ask me to get on a scale.
I am scared to talk about this shit. I don't want to talk about being fat because my body is not up for others to discuss, judge or comment on. But I have to talk about it because it is my life. It is my reality. I have had complete strangers ask me what it is like to be a fat waitress. I use the handicap bathroom stall because then my thigh doesn't touch the toilet paper dispenser. These experiences are my own but I am sure there are others who can relate.
This post is short because this is hard, and it makes me feel raw and vulnerable. But I promise to show up here to honor my frustration, sadness, anger and celebrations of being a fat grrl.