Yep, the big scary stuff. For the longest time I was terrified of making goals. I thought goals and resolutions were just setting me up for failure. What I did not realize, is that by not making goals, I wasn't holding myself accountable. Instead I was satisfied with what came my way; coasting.
Goals are complicated. They are rife with expectation and should. Both good reasons to forget about the work that is needed to make goals effective and worth our time. But what if we looked at goal setting in a new light? What if we looked inside of ourselves to find our goals?
When I work with clients around goal setting I make it very clear that goals, are intentions. By quieting the outside world, it is possible to hear a whisper from your heart, an intention from your soul. I have talked previously about diggin in. It is work to remove the voices of the outside world: social media, work, family, advertising, and news, long enough to hear what it is that you need to be satisfied and healthy.
To remove outside input I coach clients through a simple ritual to throw away all the should in our lives.
- Set your mood, create your space, light a candle, pour a glass of lemon water.
- Write a list of all the things you think other people think you should do.
- RIP IT UP! Throw it away, shred it, burn it.
- Sit quietly with your eyes closed.
- Breathe with your eyes closed.
- Release tension in your body with every exhale.
- Listen to the part of you that dreams.
- Find the voice that speaks of who you are.
- Remember your breath.
- Always come back to your breath.
- Breathe into your belly.
- What does your gut say?
- What is that deep feeling inside of your belly?
- Whisper it to yourself.
- Whisper the feeling in your gut, outloud, to yourself.
- Tell yourself your secret.
- Write it down on a piece of paper.
- Here begins your intention.
This is a very truncated example of deep work. This work requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to dig in to oneself and examine what they find. It is hard work. It takes time and devotion. It is fun and rewarding to learn about who you are and what you are capable of. Remember to always come back to your breath, and to always be respectful of the work, the energy and the answers you find.