Sometimes the Universe yells at you...

 

Monday the universe yelled at me.  It wasn't pretty crying, it was sobbing guffaws and catching my breath through the tears.  It was the realization that I have a lot of work to do.  So today I took it slow.  I was gentle with myself.  Self care in action.  

Lately I have been thinking a lot about balance and how vital it is to my sanity and success.  I have always thought of balance as something that I have to achieve.  As if there is a magical formula to being balanced.  It has always been a very stagnant concept in my mind.  Something to attain and then hold to with clenched fists.  But that hasn't worked for me.  I am still searching as if hunting pirate treasure at the bottom of the sea.  So today, as I sunk into my favorite chair with a juicy book and my third cup of tea, I realized I was balancing.  My willingness to be gentle with myself after having an emotional rollercoaster day on Monday was balance.  I was balancing the high energy of the universe yelling at me with the calm of being quiet and following my nose rather than my to do list.  

Balance \'bal-ən(t)s\ n [ME, fr. OF, fr. (assumed) VL bilancia, fr. LL bilanc-, bilanx having two scalepans, fr. L bi-lanc-, lanx plate] (13c) 1 : an instrument for weighing: as  a : a beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends b : a device that uses the elasticity of a spiral spring for measuring weight or force   c : cap : LIBRA  2  : a means of judging or deciding  3  : a counterbalancing weight, force, or influence  4  : a vibrating wheel operating with a hairspring to regulate the movement of a timepiece  5  a : stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis  b : equipoise between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements  c : equality between the totals of the two sides of an account   6  a : an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements  b : the juxtaposition in writing of syntactically parallel constructions containing similar or contrasting ideas   7  a : physical equilibrium  b : the ability to retain one's balance  8  a : weight of force of one side in excess of another  b : something left over  : REMAINDER  c : an amount in excess esp. on the credit side of an account  9 : mental and emotional steadiness

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary

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 When I am stuck or stagnant I will often read the dictionary for inspiration.  

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elasticity. deciding. stability. equipoise. integration. juxtaposition. steadiness.  These words spoke to me.  They illuminated a new way of understanding how I can cultivate balance in my life.  They helped me to hear what the universe is yelling at me.  They are how I am going to move forward into those dark tender spaces in order to love myself more fully.  Thanks universe.  I get it.  I hear ya.  I am going to do the work.